The Best Connection You’ll Ever Make Is With Your Own Brain
Have you ever gone to a meeting, and everyone leaves with a different impression? One says it was great, another argues with you about the next steps, while you thought it was horrible. You’re thinking, was I in a different meeting?
Or, have you been networking and someone says something completely inappropriate? (More specific tips on this to come later). I don’t know about you, but this happens to me more times than I want to admit.
When you learn a few key things about the brain, you will understand why people react—and most importantly why you react. This will give you a lot of power to become the problem solver, not the problem child.
It’s an exciting time in brain research. We know more than we ever have. The discoveries keep on coming.
I’m not a neuroscientist, nor do I play one on TV, but here is a stab at understanding the brain in very basic terms. There are two parts of the brain you need in order to be aware:
The defensive side that looks for threats and wants to protect us.
The discovery mode that wants to explore further and understand what is happening.
We are conditioned to be defensive in order to save ourselves—this explains fight-or-flight syndrome. There is so much information being thrown at us in our busy world, our brain helps by making quick decisions in order to protect us.
But the brain is also curious and wants to go deeper, to understand. The defensive brain, however, will often win.
It is time to let your discovery part of your brain out. You’ll be amazed at what you learn. You’ll be amazed how you look at things differently, like business meetings and networking!
The next time when you are in a meeting and no one remembers it the way you do, take into consideration their experiences that frame their point of view. It could be something from years ago, or as recent as a bad experience while coming into work that has put them in a bad mood.
Once you realize this, you can help manage the meeting and/or interactions much better so that you all can move forward.
To learn more, I highly recommend Caroline Webb’s book “How to Have A Good Day”. Not only does she put into laymen’s terms how the brain works (much better than me!), she gives actionable tips that can help you understand yourself and others around you. By understanding this, you can change the way you react to help move the meeting, problem, or a difficult networking situation forward.
You’ll then be known as the clear-headed problem solver, instead of the problem causer.
(Oh, and remember to take notes at meetings—that can help solve a ton of disagreements!)
Have a question or a tip you want me to include in a future blog? Email me at jankostner@gmail.com.
P.S. Did you know that the right v. left brain theory is a myth? It’s not all downhill after 40, 50, or event 70! Go check out “Top Ten Myths About the Brain” from The Smithsonian to learn more.
