Do Talk To Strangers
Don't talk to strangers. How many of you were told that when you were young? Remember stranger danger?
No wonder when you get older and your thrust into a room of people you don't know you're scared. Or scarred.
In previous posts, I’ve talked about using your curiosity to help you prepare for a networking event. Creating a routine of finding out about the event, what is going on in the world so you have something talk about, preparing a 30-second introduction, and having some interesting questions available.
If you are still nervous or anxious—which may be because it has been ingrained in our heads not to talk to strangers—there are a few things you can do before you walk into the room.
Find a quiet place, then try the following:
Breathe. Take five deep breaths. Inhale for a count of five, hold for a count of five, then exhale for a count of five. It is scientifically proven that deep breaths will calm your nerves.
The Power Pose. Stand with your hands on your hips, legs wide, chin up, for 2 minutes (think Peter Pan posturing for Captain Hook). Research shows taking a confident stance and taking up space helps you feel powerful, boosting confidence.
Consider who you already know on the guests list, and enlist them as a wing person (just one will suffice!). That person can help with introductions or aid you in exiting a conversation if necessary.
Now you are ready to walk in the room. Try to have fun with this!
Make it a game—introduce yourself to three people you haven't met before you grab a drink or something to eat. My friend Gemma does this, and she is the top salesperson on her team!
Ask someone you know to introduce you someone you want to know. People do want to help and this is the perfect situation.
If you really want to take your networking up a notch, learn to listen. People love to be heard.
Take the time to listen to respond; listen to understand, not just to answer. When you take wanting to respond out of the equation, you will really hear what the person is saying and bonus: you'll respond thoughtfully because you listened!
Choose your calming technique—breath, pose, or a wing person—go in with a purpose, and listen—you will be the most powerful person in the room. Remember, you can talk to strangers.
Have a question or want to share a tip with me? Contact me at janvkostner.com. I’ll respond!
